What you put out in the universe, you get back!

Since I shared my blog and intentions, the Universe and God have really stepped up.  I cant go into specifics just yet but all I know is what you put out in the universe, you get back.  If it doesn't work out, I know our baby is still out there ( I feel it in my soul). 

I also feel a huge shout out to one of my favorite peeps (hey is peeps still a 'cool' word? Probably not). I would really love to show my appreciate to my Saint. Saint Jude! Saint Jude is the man and the Saint of hopeless causes (so of course he is MY Saint).  I cant tell you how many times I prayed to Saint Jude for "the one for me". lol I now have the two for me (my husband and son). Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if one day. I have a house full of boys because I prayed so much for a good guy. So far, I have two.

In case you don't know the Saint Jude prayer, here it is:

O Holy St Jude!
Apostle and Martyr,
great in virtue and rich in miracles,
near kinsman of Jesus Christ,
faithful intercessor for all who invoke you,
special patron in time of need;
to you I have recourse from the depth of my heart,
and humbly beg you,
to whom God has given such great power,
to come to my assistance;
help me now in my urgent need and grant my earnest petition.
I will never forget thy graces and favors you obtain for me
and I will do my utmost to spread devotion to you.Amen.
St. Jude, pray for us and all who honor thee and invoke thy aid.
(Say 3 Our Father's, 3 Hail Mary’s, and 3 Glory Be’s after this.)

You are supposed to say this prayer for 9 days and sometime after the 9th day your miracle happens.  Just don't pray for bad or the wrong things because trust me those things happen too.  Once I prayed for money and the next day I got in a car accident by a hit and run driver. Sure in the end I got money but the whip lash sure did hurt and I never prayed for money again. NEVER. You know the saying "Be careful what you wish for" Well this is the case here. Happy praying! ;) What do you have to loose anyway?! Give it a shot.

Save the Adoption Tax Credit

The Adoption Tax credit is due to expire at the end of this year.  It will not help us or any other waiting family unless it is extended because we will not finalize this year (obviously).  This current bill is for those that had expenses and finalize this year and the past several years. I urge you to call or write our Representatives to extend the Adoption Tax credit!.



Exciting News!

There are now bills in both the House (HR 4373) and the Senate (S 3616) that would accomplish the goal of an adoption tax credit that is inclusive, flat for special needs adoptions, refundable and permanent. We encourage you to ask your Representative to co-sponsor HR 4373 and both your Senators to co-sponsor S 3616.

Please note that the adoption tax credit is likely to be included in a package of other tax credits, which we expect to be considered by Congress after the election in November. Having more members of Congress signed on as co-sponsors of these bills will help ensure an inclusive, flat, refundable, and permanent adoption tax credit is part of the broader tax negotiation.

 

Here is a link to a wonderful website to help do that: http://adoptiontaxcredit.org/

and there is movement!!

Last night, I started filling out our application for our Agency/Attorney. This means that we have movement in our journey that has felt on hold forever!  It feels good. Even though we may not be matched for 2 years, we are moving in the right direction. My own personal philosophy is when you make one change, the rest will change. Its kind of the ying and yang of life, right?! The ebb and flow.

These are the steps we have to start ASAP.

• Fill out and send in questionare and contract to Agnecy/Attorney
• Start homestudy (this could take 2-4 months)- includes fingerprinting, DMV records, physicals, questionaire, orientation, home visit and the list goes on and on
• Start profile books so they can be sent out to birthmothers

Red thread

I came across this poem and I thought it was so beautiful!

An Invisible red thread connects those that are destined to meet,

regardless of time, place or circumstance.

The thread may stretch or tangle,

but will never break.

            -Chinese legend

Is it wrong to wish for a boring/simple life?

Sometimes I just want my life to be boring/simple.  By boring I mean, no roller coasters, no negative surprises (positive ones are okay!). No hiccups.  I really need to be careful what I wish for because boring is not always (probably) better.  I just hate the unknown and I know that my life has been unknown since the day I had Firecracker.  Did I mention Firecracker has a blood disorder and is immuno-compromised? I probably didn't because its not something I want the world to know because I don't ever want him to feel limited or get a label. By looking at him you would never guess his little body works against him. Those germs that are nothing to you or your kids play havoc on my sweet Firecracker. So please don't send your kids to school with runny noses or coughs just because you want some free time.  That 2-3 hour free time you get will turn into weeks of hell for my boy or perhaps hospitalize him like it did several months ago. So I just challenge you to think of others when you go to work sick or send your kids to school sick. Firecracker is not the only child/person with immune issues. What about the people going through chemo or any other immune suppressant treatment? Flu season is approaching and I really hope its a mild one.  Flu season is what probably spurred my desire to ride a boring roller coaster. I know we are now on the ride as it is climbing to the top and I hear 'tick tick tick' as it climbs ......But hey, its better than the tea-cup ride, right?!

Is bigger always better?!

In the past week,  my husband and I have traveled to two other adoption agencies (this is 3 total we have visited and about 20 that I have called or talked too).  I was really leaning towards Agency A as it is the largest in the US and has about 400 birthmoms and about 300 Adoptive Couples.  I figured we would get matched quicker. However, Agency A is also the most expensive at $17,000 not including the homestudy fees, attorney fees, travel etc etc etc.... Did I mention that adoption costs average $25,000-$30,000.  That was something I was shocked to find out when we first started our journey.  I have no idea how we are going to come up with that amount but I have to have faith and hope that God and the good ole Universe will provide (of course not without hard work/fundraising/etc).

So after visitng Agency A, I left with a different feeling than I did before we had arrived. I was 95% sure we were going with Agency A before the visit and just really confused after we left.  So because we were really unsettled, we decided to visit Agency B a few days later.  I wasn't expecting much as I was kind of deflated. I really had expected that "This is the one feeling" with Agency A and I didn't have it. I was lost. Unsure. Sad.

So we walked into Agency B and didn't expect much. Not that Agency B was bad, but that we were feeling a little down and doubtful about adoption.  I think I read once that there will always be many times that you doubt adoption because most people don't grow up thinking they will adopt. That the process is daunting.  Most kids think- boy meets girl (or boy meets boy or girl meets girl), they fall in love, get married and have kids....

I digress. My mind is all over the place. lol  This is where my son gets it from.  I always say he is like Doug from the movie Up....."Squirrel!" You all know what I mean.  So we sat at Agency B and chatted. It was a comfortable chat and like talking to a friend I've known for a long time.  I instantly trusted her. I told her my concern with her agency is that it would take longer to match and that Agency A seems to have more options (older children), but I was so confused.  Both Agency A and Agency B both say wonderful things about each other which is always nice.  One thing the woman at Agency B said to me that really resonated was "Who do you want to be with you through this journey?  Adoption is a journey and not for the faint of heart."  With that one statement, I got it!  It was the ah-ha moment I was waiting for since our diagnosis.  I have/had been so focused on statistics (birthmoms vs adoptive families, reclaim rate, costs) that I forgot about the actually journey.  I was worried about picking the wrong agency because most require money upfront. 

Another thing I hear from all Agency's is that "Your child will find you!"  I kept thinking, what if I pick the wrong agency, how will she find us?!  Told ya I analyze alot ;) Then Agency B said to me "Don't worry, she will find you no matter what!" I have to trust the bigger picture and trust that God and the Universe know what lies ahead for us. Easier said than done.

Fear

I hate fear! Hate it. I can talk myself out of anything and when I do, I know it is fear based. This morning is no different. I was doubting adoption. Am I making the right decision? what if I pick the wrong agency? what if we should just pursue IVF? what if I don’t explain adoption ‘right’ to our child? what if? what if!! I hate it. I am a Capricorn, which means I like to know what is going to happen. I like plans and love the known. The unknown scares me. I like to have my feet firmly on the ground. One would think that I would have mastered fear after my husband was in a war zone for a year. Nope. The only thing that it taught me (amongst other things) was to keep moving FORWARD. I need to take a leap of faith but that translates into leap = feet off the ground. Yikes!